Reminders from God’s Calendar

Monday night before bed, I reviewed my monthly goals. Goals are easier to chew when you take a bite each day. Say no to overindulgence, my friends.

I said to myself, “When I wake up, I’m going to do this, this and this.” Gratefully, the sun rose and I had another chance to strive towards my goals. I hopped out of bed, ready to take on the day, listening to my favorite YouTube video I listen to every morning: Who You Are Message to All Women https://youtu.be/uWi5iXnguTU.

I jumped in my car and headed to my first stop of the day. I planned in my head and iPhone calendar I would be out by 10:00am based off of historical information given to me by others who had the same experience.

As I sat in the waiting area, sipping my hot coffee black, I engaged in light conversations with a few other people who were also planning the rest of their day and stating how much they HAD to do before the day was over.

Time quickly passed and 9:00am was upon us. I began to think how “I” could hurry this process. How “I” could make sure I was on to the next thing as “I” had planned the day before.

I shifted in my seat this way and the other, cleared my throat, checked my watch again and again, yet nothing happened.

I was slowly coming into the realization that I was not going to be able to leave when I expected. Isn’t it funny how we think we have control over others, the environment and the circumstances?

I was quickly reminded I could only control my reactions and attitude to what was going on around me. As I was asked to stand, shortly after I was asked to sit again as I was chosen to serve a civic duty.

Was I mentally, emotionally or even spiritual prepared for what I was walking into? No. Was I present to what had to be done over what I was desired to do? Yes.

I was called to make a shift and here are 7 reminders God’s calendar notified me of as I sat in a freezing cold room surrounded by people I had never met or even seen before.

1. What God wants you to do will always prevail over what you are choosing.

2. You are not nor have you ever been in control of anything other than yourself and your actions.

3. When you are present you are not missing anything.

4. You can fight for what you want or allow God to give you what you need.

5. You are progressing even when it feels like you are standing still.

6. There are people who need your presence more than you often realize.

7. Four hands on a steering wheel causes accidents, take yours off. Trust God’s.

I deleted all of my calendar plans for that day and quietly, gently whispered to myself “I want your calendar God, not mine.”

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Dreams and Nightmares

As little kids, we are always encouraged to dream. In fact, to DREAM BIG. Before we are old enough to think for ourselves, we are asked the famous childhood question “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Most children answer this question based off of occupations they’ve seen glorified — teacher, firefighter, policeman, doctor or lawyer.

It is the cutest thing until that once young child realizes the commitment, time, and dedication it takes to master each profession.

The child quickly learns their dreams aren’t just a word away put several steps ahead of where he currently is.

What about the little girl who grew up planning her wedding before her own personal purpose and success? She vividly imagines the white, flowing dress with her 10 best friends in her wedding party.

She imagines the most handsome, perfect and charming man she will get to call her forever.

Dreams are beautiful. Dreams are brave. They keep us living beyond our current realities. But what if we considered the nightmares that come with the dreams.

Would it make the dream less desirable? No. Would it make the realities clear and help set proper expectations? Yes.

Let’s go back to the little child who dreams of being a doctor but has no idea it takes a minimum of 8 years of school and rigorous competition to land his residency.

Let’s consider telling him he will have to sacrifice his time, his personal desires, and fund this process with personal assets or student loans. Let’s mention the challenges so he will know before the white coat he will have to get down and dirty (do the work) to earn it.

Let’s go back to the little girl dreaming of her Prince Charming coming to save her from her singleness gloom. Let’s mention self-love, self-respect and honor to attract the man she’s dreaming of. Let’s mention her man will not be perfect as no human is. Let’s mention he will eventually disappoint her because Superman is a man first.

As adults, let’s pair nightmares with dreams. Let’s look at both sides of the coins and not just the flip side.

A higher salary in Corporate America will more than likely require more production out of you and more time away from your family.

A FREE deal advertised, one will pay for in some way whether it be time or money. *Queue timeshare presentations*.

A leadership role will only do so much for your pride and ego as you learn you will serve others more than you will yourself.

As I plan my next moves, I’m writing a nightmare by every dream. What about you?

Flower Gardens in My Heart

As I reflect on the month of February, it’s been a great one. The month started with intense workouts in the training facility I consistently go to.

The second week I celebrated my 28th Birthday in beautiful Orlando, Florida. The week ended with a dim light dinner with 14 of my closest family and friends.

The third week I returned to work with high energy, smiles for days, and love in my heart for the job I *get to* do everyday.

This week, I exceeded my sales goals and won an award I’ve been gunning for since last year.

All month, I’ve been realizing the blockages in my heart as it relates to romantic love. I’ve been amazed at how defensive I become when I’m treated how I deserve to be treated.

What’s foreign to us normally scares us.

However, persistence is winning. Seeds of love are being planted in the garden of my heart daily. Many I plant, many others do. Isn’t it a beautiful time for blooming with Spring right about the corner?

We all have so much to be thankful for.

I hope you’ve been gardening, pruning and trimming in your own life.

Beautiful things can’t bloom with weeds, underutilized space and under fertilized soil.

B

God Protected 28

365 days went by. 3..2..1.. the clock struck 12:00am and I wake up 28.

Where did the years go? Did I live in them or did they live me? How did my legs get so long and my confidence so strong?

As I lay in a bed not my own, that of a Airbnb owner, glaring out of a striped window, I begin to ponder on the life I’ve lived. Many of the memories I didn’t think of simply because so much has transpired.

I was feeling sexy as I threw off the layers of covers and let my feet hit the ground.

The day was ahead of me, 27 years behind me.

I believe in healing. I believe in miraculous acts. I believe in divine connections. I believe in course correction. I believe in love although I’ve been fighting it these days.

I’ve been thinking about how much I’ve been shielded from, many times without me even knowing at that time.

I’ve considered all of the wonderful blessings that have been given to me over the years. Few I’ve strained for.

Being a twin, birthdays are much like holidays. They’re celebrated more. Maybe it’s the awe of two humans coming from one woman in a matter of minutes.

What I know for sure, God protected 28. I’ve settled. I’ve went against my intuition to keep what I thought I needed. I’ve made silly and serious mistakes. There’s been times I haven’t been honest with myself. I’ve pushed people away when I didn’t get my way. Even in all that, God protected 28.

Things I Found in a Hotel Room

It’s been raining all week. The cold has stuck to glass windows as the wind paired the rain to every object in sight. Some love the rain, many despise it. The ones who love the rain see the cleansing. The ones who hate it see their plans deferred or adjustments to schedules they initially didn’t have in mind. Either way, it’s life.

Today is Sunday and the sun came back like a dog you can give a treat. The sun beamed in the sky with promise that today would be bright. And so it was…

I went to a hotel room to see my beloved friends who are in town for the weekend.

I crossed my legs on the pull out couch as my sister set next to me, across sat my two friends with slight grins as we caught each other up on life’s many happenings. Our time was short but our words were long. And so we dive in to what can’t wait until our next meet up.

I love to see my friends especially growing, glowing, flowing and learning. That’s the thing with real friends, more like family, you want to see them at their best and celebrate their success with them.

I was reminded of how far we’ve come individually and collectively. It gave me a greater sense of hope that all is working together. Here’s what I learned the most:

  1. God makes personal, unexplainable visits.

2. Experiences toughen your skin in ways advice doesn’t.

3. Family teaches you how deep your love can go.

4. Respect is a choice that you have control over.

5. Babies are precious.

6. Love is worth fighting for with the right person who wants the same thing as you do.

7. No matter how many seasons come and go, you can always stabilize your beliefs.

It’s going to be a great year. I hope you’re surrounded by people who see the best in you and only wants the best for you.

Much love,

B

The Day I Grew Strength From My Ancestors Wounds

I used to consume history in high school like popsicles on a sunny day. I was intoxicated with learning what happened before my existence. My mind swelled with knowledge of how what became what and how who become who. I would go through trails in my head with the intent to get to the end of how I ended up here. In America. After years of slavery.

On a cold Thursday afternoon, I made my way to the new Mississippi Civil Rights Museum located in Downtown Jackson, Mississippi. As I walked through the doors, I was met by two police officers. The lady said “Take everything out your pockets. Step forward.” I did so. It was procedure, but I instantly felt a small sense of what would be ahead.

As I made my way to the beginning of the eight exhibit museum, I started here. Instantly taken aback by what I was reading. My eyes glazed over metal chains used as restraints, documents of laws and pictures of cotton, poverty, and politics. I was on an emotional roller coaster that hadn’t even reached its peak.

Before proceeding to certain simulations and presentations, the museum had warning signs of how graphic the pictures may be. As I stepped in certain spots, the intercom said “Hey! What are you doing here? You better get out of here if you don’t want any trouble.” It was in real voices. The same voices my ancestors heard day in and day out.

One went as far as the sound of a rifle being prepared for action. Although I was in a safe place, my mind started to imagine what it must have been like living in the times of slavery and post-slavery.

I imagined punishment for little or no reason, deep senses of fear in the bellies of every black person in those times, the rise of faith and doubt, the organization of movements and companies, the birth of children and the death of some. I imagined hymns being moaned when words couldn’t be mustered. Oh, I imagined a lot.

When I exited imagination, I reentered reality. I was grateful to have gained a small glimpse into my history. I was saddened by the lives lost to fight for the freedoms I have today. I was inspired to press on another day knowing my ancestors had endured far worse than I ever have.

Many of the wounds are still open today. History is living in the present. I still see injustice, poverty, slavery of the mind, depression and systematic oppression. But in the eye of my soul, there’s light, there’s hope, there’s freedom, there’s truth and there’s time. I walked out of the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum with my curly head held high with a bandaid of strength over my ancestors wounds.

Finding the Beauty in the Unknown 

Alarm clock goes off. Snooze or not to snooze? Lay here for a few more minutes or get right to it? Am I excited about the day or dreading it? Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing with my life? Sigh. It’s 7:15am, whatever the answer is to the latter will have to wait…

Life is a journey you never quite figure out. As the seasons change, so do you. We rarely like to admit that the life we envisioned years, months, or weeks ago has changed. It is much easier to stay put rather than explore the uncertainties of your mind.

Why? You may find truths that no longer align with what you have been trained to believe. You may find who you truly are isn’t what you present to world each day. You may find more comfort is piling your insecurities in the corners of your mind rather than addressing them.

I know. Tough. But if I don’t challenge your thought process, who will? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Here are 3 ways to find beauty in the unknown and come out stronger on the other side:

1. Be okay with not knowing.

The first step to growth is acknowledgment. You cannot dissect an area of your life you are not willing to accept. It is okay to be confused, frustrated, and uneasy with the uncertainty. But ONLY for a moment. These are natural responses, but they don’t have to become you. Take the same energy it would take to sit in those emotions and intitate self-discovery.

Exercise: For the next 7 days, take 5 minutes each day to write down what you enjoy, don’t enjoy, and are willing to sacrifice to get what you enjoy. 

2. Ask for counsel.

We have counselors in high school and college for a reason. They have been trained or have completed the research to know what classes you need to take to get from Point A to Point B. Why not have counsel for your life? There are people who have walked paths you may not even know exist. Don’t let your pride stand in the way of asking for help. Be willing to be lead. It takes permission for someone to lead you.

Exercise: Following the first 7 days, find 3 people who you think are the shit! (Meaning: You admire their values, work ethic, business, etc.) Reach out to them and ask for a dialogue of how they overcame uncertainty in their lives. You want the REAL. Not the surface level blasé. Always offer something of value too. Whether we like to admit it or not, people like to engage in activities that benefit them too.

3. Create a plan to move toward certainty. 

So, now you have a better sense of what you like and don’t like and you’ve solicited counsel. Take your self-discoveries and counsel and create a plan. I’m not suggesting a 5-year plan. Baby steps people, baby steps. Start with a week at a time. Each day devoting time to build on your discoveries. It could be learning how to monetize a blog, coding, or learning how to cook. Whatever your desires are, integrate it in your daily activities.

Exercise: Document your progress and don’t celebrate until you have something to celebrate. Hint: A lot of us celebrate to soon.

Finally, you were born great. Make sure you die great.

With love,

Britney

For more inspiration: Connect with me on Instagram @britneylclark

Featured Photo Art: Street Art Utopia